1982
Director- Ted V. Mikels

Some women in hot pants and hard hats are working in a mine, but after a little uninvited groping perpetrated by one of their male co-workers, they decide to earn their keep a little less legally, but a lot less labor intensively by resorting to a life of crime. Their first job it’s decided, is to be a jewelry store heist. Unfortunately unbeknownst to them, amongst all the trinkets they snag is a scarab ring which is the prized possession of one Arab sheik dude. The ladies flee the scene of their crime, change clothes in an alley, and have a celebratory water-fight in a public park before heading off to Las Vegas to sell the goods. In Vegas they make contact with a fence, played with remarkable gusto by a boars-tusk clad (his trademark?) Ted Mikels. He offers them cocaine in exchange for the jewels, at which point the negotiations break down and the ladies are forced to resort to violence and flight once again. Now they have both the gems, and a bunch of coke, so, they decide to bury the former sell the latter and split up. Hmmm, perhaps their lack of pushing experience should have made this an obviously poor choice. Nope. One of the chicks gets greased by the Feds, and the others shortly find themselves in prison.

Is it any surprise that the warden is a cruel lesbian granny? For some reason she decides to seduce the ugliest of the ladies, not that it’s a particularly dapper bunch mind you. Finally the ladies have had enough maltreatment and they break out of the big house only to be double-crossed and sold into slavery.

From the beginning of the film it’s clear that this is going to be a difficult experience. For starters, there are clearly only eight women in the group and every single goddamn one of them has about as much pathos as a porcupine turd. Mikels reprises, or perhaps since I have a limited experience with his films, begins his series of cameos as an asshole and foot fetishist. This is actually, all things considered, not a horrible movie.

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