Director – Brad F. Grinter, Steve Hawkes

Some silly biker dude named Herschell helps a girl in her car, and so she takes him with her to a party at her sister's place. Everyone at the party is, like, totally into the drug scene, but because the girl, Angel, is Christian, and anti-drug, Hersch plays it straight. Later, Angel takes Hersch home to her parents' place, where her dad promptly gives him a job at his turkey farm.

Thanks to the narration and intermittent shots of a chain-smoking, skeezy, satin-clad, cue-card reading pedophile, we know everything before it happens.

At home, Angel's naughty sister gets Herschell stoned and they have sex. The next day, Hersch reports for duty at the turkey farm where he meets two highly trained scientists who have been doing crazy tests on the turkeys. They railroad Hersch into trying the meat from the experimented turkeys to see if it’s OK. He does, after smoking more reefer, and devours a huge pile of turkey. Then Hersch gets all crazy messed up and goes into convulsions on the turkey farm lawn. The two shady and highly professional lab scientists take Hersch to the woods, where they dump his ass like the narrator's last spent victim, but well, Hersch, he turns into a big ass bloodthirsty turkey man. Hersch then returns to the turkey farm and then Angel's sister, who must rationalize her twisted love for a blood drinking mutant turkey dude. Apparently he gives her plenty of justification, I guess necks aren’t the only long thing on a turkey. Some of her filthy hippie friends get stoned and discuss Hersch-ell's present level of hipness. Turkey-Hersch kidnaps women and does unspeakable things to them. Movie hires people who do unspeakable things in the name of film. Unspeakably low brow, they simply don’t make them this unspeakably, staggeringly simpleminded anymore. What happens next is simple unspeakable. Needless to say it was so shocking that the complete lack of 70’s boobs almost went unnoticed, and I am still in awe. Or is that spelled awwwwww… An unspeakable bloody screaming mess.

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